The Idea of Balancing Work and Life is too Mechanistic for Issues in Emotional Milieus; Better to Blend and Bond to Bypass and Bust Barriers

Ram was on his way to a mall one evening when he decided to drop in on his close friend Krishna. He wanted to check how Krishna’s preparations for the planned management course in the USA were progressing.

Ram was aghast to see Krishna with dishevelled hair, crumpled clothes, and worry written large on his face.

“Hi, my friend. How are plans progressing for your USA sojourn?”

“Oh, Ram, I’m so glad to see you. You have come by at the right moment when I need your advice, like a prescient angel.”

 

“Tell me what problems have you created? Sorry, that have arisen?”

“Not one problem, I am facing many. There are fires burning on both the home and office fronts. I am at a loss to decide how to balance work and life.”

“Where did you pick up that most impractical idea of balancing work and life? Let me first uproot that from your mind in order to avoid the turmoil you are in now and will get into in the future too if this archaic idea of ‘balancing work and life is not eliminated from your mindset.

“I know you don’t like theories and sermons.  But the matter is so very vital and damaging that a sermon is needed. I would ask you to just listen first and then ask questions at the end.”

“Please remember that balancing 4 or 5 balls, usually perfect spheres and made of known materials, is a mechanistic concept and cannot be compared to human affairs of life and career. It is said in Sanskrit  pinde pinde matirbhinnah, which means that each one’s thinking pattern is different. And according to psychologists, an average individual has tens of thousands of thoughts every day. Safe to say about 2500 to 3000 thoughts per hour. This coupled with globalization and technological advances, the number of balls demanding attention would not be in a single figure, but far too many. One has to cope with and find a way to succeed through such quagmires and cacophony.

“The main problem is that time is limited and demands are far too many which gives rise to the idea of balancing demands on one’s time and attention. Moreover, technology has blurred the line between work and life and with the mind-boggling number of thoughts, the demands on one’s time can be very heavy and not amenable to mechanistic  ‘balancing’.  

“Most demands are for ‘concurrence’ or ‘approvals’. But, if one develops strong bonds and creates ‘trust’, the demands on time fall off and often get sorted out. Many trusted colleagues would be understanding and think that ‘John must be busy. I will go ahead and make a decision and explain it to him later. I am sure he will approve the action and if there is a mistake it will be condoned’. People with strong bonds are also familiar with others’ schedules and priorities and hence would keep demands low and find an ‘appropriate’ time to call.

“Also, work and life involve humans with far too many emotional and sentimental complexities. It is said human minds are faster than winds, higher than the Himalayas, and deeper than the Pacific. And, when emotional storms arise, complexities become mind-boggling. There is no time and way to ‘weigh and balance’. You only hold fast to the nearest pole or lie flat on the ground.

“So don’t waste your time balancing work and life. Think calmly, list the issues, and before jumping to any judgment, think of blending with new folks involved and bonding with all involved. With bonding comes empathy and each one ‘senses’ the feelings and thoughts of others and solutions ‘sprout’ out. Empathetic people instinctively think about how to help rather than hinder.

“I’m not suggesting that there won’t be controversies or daunting problems or clashes, and crippling devilish thoughts leading to debates and actions giving rise to looming disasters. One has to separate the real reasons for a crisis and ‘demons leaping out of imagination’. It is no longer wholly true that ‘empty mind is a devil’s workshop’; busy minds can be so too.

“Yes, it’s hard to believe, but often our own imagination ‘creates ’ ghosts that cause disruptions. It is only after a lot of losses that the phony ‘devil’ emerges to the dismay of all. Someone has said: In my life, I have been tormented by too many evils that did not visit.

“The devilish doubts or fears can arise in anyone’s mind. Remember Arjuna, the Mahabharata hero, prince with ace warrior spirit. He was all prepared to fight and yet just before the start of the war, suddenly got a doubt and with his imagination running riot crumbled saying my legs are trembling. He told Lord Krishna that he won’t fight. He sat down on the chariot’s seat throwing down his bow and arrows. Krishna had to exorcise all imaginary demons through his illuminating counselling narrated in the Bhagwat Geeta and help Arjun to get his valour and courage back to win the war.

“And now, my friend, let’s talk about your mighty problems. A while ago it appeared to me that, like Arjun, you had given up the battle and thrown away your bow and arrows.

“Before you begin, let me tell you that your wife works in a night school and taking care of your children will be a problem. My sister is now free and can help your wife in your absence, as and when necessary, or, if required, she can stay here to help and give company to your wife. Or, your children can be dropped off at our house. My mother looks after our children and she would be happy to take care of your children too. Our children have friendly relations and so I see no hassles.”

“Oh Guru! That almost douses the fire in my family. My wife proposes to keep the children in a Child Care Centre and I am totally opposed to the idea as there are many stories about neglect, oppression, and even abuse of children. Tell me, Guru, how did you guess this was my main worry?”

“That’s the magic of the intuitive power of our bonds of friendship! If you have empathetic bonds you can almost read each other's minds and most demonic issues, both in life and career, get resolved. No links, levers, handles, tricks or mechanical balancing skills are required. And, what about the office fires you mentioned?”

“Our team that has been formed, for the training in new technology projects in 3D printing, is at loggerheads because a junior, with only two years in the company, has been made the leader, ignoring seniors like me.

“But, now after hearing from you, I think the training plan itself may be postponed or abandoned if matters escalate further. I will try and change my mindset, with your guidance. I will seriously try to gel,  blend and bond with others in the team including the leader. The team leader is a junior, but is an IITian, has studied the subject and completed some projects in 3D printing. I think, overwhelmed by the vital, domestic issue, I did not think clearly and went with the crowd. I have decided to change myself and think positively.”

“So very happy for you. My best wishes for your plan to turn yourself into a wizard.”

(This is a part of a series of blogs on Career Management. You may peruse past blogs in the series which you will find in the Blog Archives.)