Sounding Board is the Secret to a Stress-Free Life and Career

A Good Sounding Board Busts Stress and Boosts Success

 

Managing the future is a challenge even in the most stable of conditions. Many decisions, in retrospect, often prove to be shots in the dark despite the use of sophisticated forecasting tools and enormous data.

 

Wharton Professor Philip Tetlock wrote a magnum opus of the book ‘Superforecasting’ after 20 years of research. He says that “the average expert was only slightly better at predicting the future than a layperson using random guesswork”.

 

Difficulties in predicting the future and making ‘sound’ decisions have become a nightmarish prospect in the new business environment because of (i) the mindboggling complexities of new products and processes (ii)the dramatic changes in the external environment (iii) the high rate of obsolescence, and (iv) the enormous amounts of investments.

 

On such shifting sands, even a person with steely nerves would be beset by doubt and lose balance when making decisions. The frightening worldwide coronavirus pandemic has further raised risks. The prospects are so daunting that many are driven to astrologers for predictions before launching projects designed using top analytical tools by geniuses. And, when one gets completely perplexed s/he gets stressed.

 

It is natural to seek a ‘second opinion’ about the validity of decisions. But, getting unbiased and honest advice within an organization is often difficult because of the time pressure (each one is buried neck-deep in their own workload), political rivalries (actual and imagined) and possible damage to one’s image of being a determined, courageous and strong executive.

 

Being in such a situation results in feelings of loneliness and bottling up of feelings and emotions. Consequently, tension and stress levels shoot up. The feeling of loneliness is not only felt by ordinary mortals, but even towering personalities at the highest level suffer from it. Just ponder over the brutally candid admissions of Albert Einstein and Barry T. Knight.

 

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“It is strange to be known universally and yet be so lonely.”

----Albert Einstein

“Many high-profile executives exude confidence and carry an excellent presence and bearing about them, outwardly giving an impression that all is well-------some of the most successful leaders, however, have a lonely face behind the mask.”

 -----Barry T. Knight

 

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Acute and chronic stress can ruin health, career, marital and other relationships. It is considered to be the main cause of many ailments like heart attacks, insomnia, anxiety, and depression.

 

The horrifying nature of the stress pandemic can be gauged from a reported finding that Americans, 4% of the world population, consume 67% of the global supply of anti-depressants worth about $6 billion. The picture in other countries may not be very different if quack remedies are included.

 

There are many ‘stress gurus’. Most offer palliatives and temporary relief by diverting attention from the root causes that trigger and aggravate stresses

 

Many popular ‘stress gurus’ with a flourishing practice, including some executive coaches and mentors, perhaps, never personally experienced the torturous feelings that arise when one is in a tight spot, a judgment trap or at a make-or-break turning point in career or personal life. These are soothsayers.

 

Proven remedy: a sounding board

 

The most effective and proven remedy is to have a sounding board, a thought partner or a confidant. The first advantage is that it eliminates the bottling up of emotions or gives a vent to relieve the pressure. Once the pressure is reduced, the sounding board, who can also act as a ‘devil’s advocate’, helps analyze the complex situation and, together with you, comes up with alternatives at different levels of risk.

 

The idea of a sounding board is not new. Ancient kings had seers and saints to confide in about the sensitive and complex matters relating to family or palace.

 

Obama’s Executive Sounding Board

 

The most successful leaders from Alexander the Great to Obama have had sounding boards. And corporate chiefs too have their own confidants and consultants to support them discreetly while maintaining the image of independent, valiant generals making momentous decisions in a jiffy, based on gut feeling.

 

A Business Week magazine report titled “Obama’s executive Sounding Board” explains in detail the significant role of the ‘Chicago troupe’ during his campaign for the first term. It is reported that one of the members of his sounding board continued to help him in the White House.

 

F. W. de Klerk, the former President of South Africa, who faced the daunting task of stepping into the shoes of the legendary and towering super leader, Nelson Mandela, frankly admitted: “The objective advice from people without a personal, financial or political agenda has been priceless for me. It enabled me to resolve seemingly overwhelming problems.” He was referring to the Global Leadership Foundation, a group of former Heads of State and other eminent leaders.

 

Effectiveness of a Sounding Board

 

• A sounding board is preferably an informal relationship with full trust and confidentiality.

• The relationship should emerge naturally during frequent meetings in social, friendly or business meetings over a time.

• The person who acts as a sounding board should have a balanced nature, be trustworthy, mature, a creative thinker with wide interests and contacts, in addition to a high degree of discretion.

• S/he should have rich experience having gone through the rough and tough – ‘been there, done that’ and have an impeccable reputation.

• S/he should focus on thinking out of the box about your predicament and give possible alternatives while leaving the choice and implementation to you. S/he should restrict to giving honest and unbiased advice.

• S/he should not get into the roles as mentor, coach, or trainer.

• S/he should be able to respond promptly and ready to spare time when you have a doubt, a difficulty, anxiety, apprehension, or sense a possible error of judgment due to a blind spot or, a setback due to others’ machinations.

• Businesses are getting more and more complex due to the emergence of artificial intelligence, machine learning, and the coalescence of various fields. In such a situation, no one can claim to be a know-all and it is quite normal to have more than one sounding board.

• And one last solemn assurance, in the role of a sounding board – including as a devil’s advocate - s/he should be objective, brutally frank and tell the bitter truth. Not out of vanity but to safeguard you from harm due to hubris and a sense of infallibility, a common executive malaise.

 

And finally, remember that sounding boards make life and career stress-free and happier. Even Lord Ram had Vasishtha and Vishwamitra as Gurus or sounding boards and took their advice in palace and family matters.

 

Note: This is a revised version of our old blog; the intention is to spread the "Sounding Board" movement to bust ever-rising stress at all levels.