BOOK REVIEW - Leadership and Self-Deception Getting out of the Box

Leadership and Self-Deception 

Getting out of the Box

By The Arbinger Institute

Berrett- Korhler Publishers, Inc

Pages - 221, Price - $17.95

                                                                                                                                   

Self-Deception - the Main Cause of Failure of Leaders, Families, and Companies

                                                                                                                                  

"Get out of the box and the solution will dawn on you." This or similar expressions have been hurled millions of times at puzzled and confused individuals and groups beset by tricky problems in organizations, whether in education, military or business. It is doubtful if any individual or group got any clue from this seemingly simple and clear advice.

 

It is to the credit of the Arbinger Institute (and more so to the writers, who have most magnanimously preferred to remain incognito) that their book 'Leadership and Self-deception, Getting Out of the Box' lays out a clear-cut roadmap to eliminate/solve problems and to improve relationships in families, business and other organizations. It is a guide to higher happiness and productivity and progress. Little wonder then that the book, which was first published in 2000, is a bestseller with over 2 million copies sold in more than 30 languages. 

Stephen R Covey, the celebrity author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People writes: "This is a profound book with deep and sweeping implications." The sweeping implications of the concepts of self-deception go far beyond the fields of business and management. Take for example the basic premises of 'self-betrayal ' and 'self-deception': self-betrayal is "an act contrary to what I see I should do for another"  and "self-betrayal is the germ that creates self-deception".

This is an extraordinary book, not for casual reading only.  It would not be overstating to say that it is more than a book - an experiential, action-oriented, and transformational learning course. The temptation to tell the story, in a nutshell, is best avoided. Instead, here are the basic concepts. 

The secret of the phenomenal success of this book in the highly competitive field of self-improvement books is its story form. "The story rings true and most readers…….see themselves in it." The style is lucid, fast-flowing, and gripping. The story reveals the self-betrayals and self-deceptions of the main characters in their personal, family, social, and professional lives. The book is virtually a transcript of a no-holds-barred chat session between a newly-recruited senior executive and superiors (junior executive or senior? Also, the word “superiors” is no longer used. You can say bosses or senior management). Every reader can imbibe the lessons easily. Tom Collins, the newly recruited executive, learned and got inspired to transform himself into an influential and effective leader, husband, parent, and team player.

The book becomes an effective guide for "Getting Out of the Box" and reaping incredible benefits of higher and higher levels of happiness and progress.

As readers are expected to follow Tom's ascent to the top, it is worthwhile to learn about his background. Tom Collins, the central character in the story, was working with a competitor of Zagrum, a legendary company known for its excellence in all fields and particularly in the area of human resources. Their corporate culture is the envy of all. 

Tom Collins had been watching Zagrum for more than a decade. After eight interviews and three weeks of wafting, he was hired "to lead a product line. He took his job seriously. In his own words, "I was focused and did not allow outside matters to interfere with my objective……….I was making a point to outwork and outshine every co-worker who might compete for promotion in the coming years.'' He thought he was doing well. And suddenly, four weeks after joining Zagrum, he was told that he would have a full-day one-on-one meeting with Bud Jefferson, the Executive Vice-President of the company.

Tom felt there was nothing to fear as he had done well so far. At the meeting, after a few preliminary inquiries, Bud said, "Tom you have a  problem………a problem that you are going to solve if you are going to make it at Zagrum." Tom says, "I felt like I was kicked in the stomach".

To add to his discomfort, Bud added, "You have a problem…….The people at work know it, your wife knows it, your mother-in-law knows it, I'll bet even your neighbors know it ……..the problem is that you don't know it." After asking a few more probing questions, Bud added, "I can help you because I have the same problem."

After a few more explanations and narrating his own experiences, Bud said, "Philosophers and psychologists call it ‘self-deception’.” That's the title of the book and the various chapters focus on how it creeps in, what harm it does, and what are the remedies. 

The basic ideas around which the story is built are: 

1. “We can't truly focus on results because we are so busy focusing on ourselves."So much so that some leaders, like the one in the book, "think the world revolves around them".  That, in the book's parlance, means to be 'in the box'.

2. When one is in the box  s/he sees others as objects and not people with needs and feelings similar to ours.

3. We instinctively sense what others expect us to do for them, but being self-focused we don't do that, which is 'self-betrayal' and this is the seed of 'self-deception'.

4. Self-deception undermines both our happiness and leadership. 

5. To the extent that organizations are beset by self-deception - and most of them are - they can't see the problem. Most organizations are stuck in the box.

6. Once out of the box, we see that the problem is not with others as we thought while in the box, but with ourselves.

7. So instead of trying to change, train, and advise others we must first change ourselves.

The authors vouch that “self-deception is so pervasive that it touches every aspect of life …….in fact, it actually determines one's experience in every aspect of life."

The 24 chapters are devoted to metamorphose Tom into a thorough 'Zagrumite’. 

Yet the final lesson is of lasting impact. "Tom, the thing that divides father from son, husband from wife, neighbors from neighbors are the same things that divide co-workers from co-workers as well. Companies fail for the same reason families do ……… those co-workers are themselves fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters.”

And, "of all the problems that organizations face, self-deception is the most common and the most damaging."